So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
