at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
