Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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