Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
you didnt know i had herpes?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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