i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
