god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
