ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
