apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
