just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
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