Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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