Can i not drive my cunt home
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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