did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
