um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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