my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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