Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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