Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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