Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
