i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
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