she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize