ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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