Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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