She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
