i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize