My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize