ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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