Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
