YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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