I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
