I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
it's like heaven, but drunker
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
