so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Everything about him screamed your future.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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