im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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