I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
