have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
