i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
