some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize