But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
i need some magic done to my vagina
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
