What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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