Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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