I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
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I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
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Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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