Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
