So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
