He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
