Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember