i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on