Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
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So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
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After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?