Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES