Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"

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(484): the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?" http://tfl.nu/cfh8

Replies (68) Good night (4394) Bad night (1585)
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(469): View more from Texas

FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.

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(469): FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES. http://tfl.nu/zom1

Replies (19) Good night (3794) Bad night (1347)
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(252): View more from North Carolina

it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet

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(252): it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet http://tfl.nu/si54

Replies (6) Good night (2234) Bad night (1394)
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(330): View more from Ohio

I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar

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(330): I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar http://tfl.nu/rbaw

Replies (9) Good night (2736) Bad night (898)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.

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(508): I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals. http://tfl.nu/elpv

Replies (3) Good night (2825) Bad night (779)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.

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(336): You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome. http://tfl.nu/fpao

Replies (4) Good night (1808) Bad night (825)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.

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(856): I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog. http://tfl.nu/f78e

Replies (5) Good night (2377) Bad night (890)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.

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(604): I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune. http://tfl.nu/081q

Replies (6) Good night (1140) Bad night (563)
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(801): View more from Utah

I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.

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(801): I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped. http://tfl.nu/dgi2

Replies (10) Good night (1676) Bad night (732)
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(314): View more from Missouri

She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?

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(314): She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her? http://tfl.nu/5dev

Replies (18) Good night (3056) Bad night (688)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.

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(203): No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience. http://tfl.nu/6ty7

Replies (11) Good night (1603) Bad night (887)
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(206): View more from Washington

There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�

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(206): There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.� http://tfl.nu/3ssu

Replies (3) Good night (1711) Bad night (535)
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(972): View more from Texas

I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.

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(972): I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants. http://tfl.nu/algc

Replies (7) Good night (1085) Bad night (899)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water

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(701): I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water http://tfl.nu/kjo7

Replies (4) Good night (440) Bad night (1598)
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(406): View more from Montana

i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood

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(406): i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood http://tfl.nu/i7ix

Replies (3) Good night (903) Bad night (348)

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