I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
