Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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