My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
you mean i was at the winter classic?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Drake has all the answers
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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