why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
they need to just BURY HIM!
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Alive.
So much puke
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
