I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I would fuck him just for his dog
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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