So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
