there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize