with your own penis?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
