i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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