i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
