Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
