The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
