I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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