Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
