I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
