one two three fourrrrnication!
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
