we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize