the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
