why didn't you poke me back
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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